


here's to the flames (we burn together)

by books_and_spite



Category: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Emotions, F/F, I Will Go Down With This Ship, LGBTQ Character, Lesbian Character, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Resurrection, True Love, is it character death if she doesn't really die?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26266258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/books_and_spite/pseuds/books_and_spite
Summary: In another world she is killed.In another world she doesn’t wish hard enough and she bleeds and hurts and dies, dies with so many regrets and so much she couldn’t say.In another world she leaves her true love alone when she falls.But this is not that world, and Leonora Lesso lives.
Relationships: Clarissa Dovey/Leonora Lesso
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	1. survive

**Author's Note:**

> may be randomly continued with whatever Ambiguously Gay scenes i can think of

_i._

It is sunset, and she is playing their game with the Dean of Good in a candlelit room. 

“Love,” Clarissa challenges, and takes another sip of her tea.

Leonora (because deep down she has never been Lady Lesso) mirrors the action, raising her own cup in a sort of salute. She does enjoy their battles of wits and words and poetry.

More than she should.

“Love is fire,” she decides. “It starts as a spark, then a flame, then it consumes and it burns and it destroys until you cannot think and it is all that matters, and somehow the heat feels  _ good,  _ like it belongs.”   
  
She pauses, and continues. “Because it does belong, for what are we but creatures of stardust and sunlight? What are we but destined to always fall for people that we will never have? Because in the end we all die. We all burn. Ashes to ashes.”   
  
She meets Clarissa’s gaze, and holds it. “Love is a part of us, another spark, another inferno, and it would be a fool who says otherwise.”   
  
Clarissa smiles. “And how would you know this, my dear?”

_ Because I love you and I always have. _

“Why don’t you make a guess?” She says instead.

Clarissa’s dark eyes sparkle in the evening light. “Oh, I think I know.”

Softer, now. “Would it be strange, if I said that I love you?”

“Not at all,” Leonora replies. “Not at all.”   
  
They do not speak of that night often, but Leonora remembers.

* * *

_ii._

In another world she is killed. 

In another world she doesn’t  _ wish  _ hard enough and she  _ bleeds  _ and  _ hurts  _ and  _ dies,  _ dies with so many regrets and so much she couldn’t say.

In another world she leaves her true love alone when she falls. 

But this is not that world, and Leonora Lesso  _ lives.  _

* * *

She is dying, yes.

She knows it the same way you know you are breathing. It is an  _ instinct.  _ Something primal. And once you know, once you can feel it racing through your blood- there is no going back.

But Leonora still wishes, wishes desperately, hopes against hope because she does not want to die, not with so much left to do and see and learn. She does not want to go, not now, not when everything has just been solved and fixed, she wants to  _ live- _

Everything is so clear, suddenly, and yet so blurred.

She speaks to Sophie, words pouring out like they never could before, speaking of love and friendship and so much more, and declares her the new Dean. She is delirious. She does not know what is happening.

She can feel warmth, still, the warmth of Sophie’s tears and Clarissa’s hands as she whispers,  _ it will all be over soon, I will miss you, Lady Lesso,  _ **_please-_ **

“Leonora,” she chokes out. “My name- is- Leonora-”   


_ My name is Leonora Lesso and I want to live, I wish I wish I wish to live- _

Two sparks in the world of magic (when did she start seeing magic?) light up. She can feel it. One is familiar,  _ oh Clarissa,  _ the other not quite, but she knows it is Agatha of Woods Beyond. What do they have in common? What is causing this?

_ I wish, I wish, I wish- _

She is going to die. She is going to live.

Two sparks, bursting into flame.

_ Clarissa,  _ she tries to say.  _ I love you.  _

And then all is silent. It is dark. And cool. And peaceful.

There is a light, somewhere. She pushes towards it. 

This is her life, and she will not go anywhere in the darkness. No. She will not settle for the darkness. She wants to go back to the School. She wants to see Clarissa again. 

She has _just_ about survived for so long. Maybe it’s time to be free. 

She is going to  _ live. _

* * *

She keeps going. And going.

Sometimes the light seems so far away.

* * *

How long has it been?

* * *

She is nonexistent but still she pushes on.

* * *

She has to live.

* * *

She will not let this fire die.

(Does Clarissa remember it? Their game?)

* * *

Clarissa still doesn’t know how it happened.

Lady Lesso-  _ Leonora-  _ was dying, and Clarissa was hurting and trying to stay strong, losing your true love is losing a part of yourself, after all. And she wished, harder than she had ever wished before, for a chance, for just the  _ hope  _ of Leonora staying alive. 

And then the screaming came, but not screaming- the cacophony of noise that erupted in the silence that only she seemed to be able to hear, the  _ what ifs,  _ the confusion and hurt and desperation, she still doesn’t know what it  _ was- _

She only knows that she started channeling magic, without even trying, her icy blue magic sparkling and glowing and shrieking, and so did Agatha, her finger glowing bright gold. And then Leonora’s body- Leonora- disappeared, but she could still  _ feel  _ her true love. It was a wish, she doesn’t know  _ whose,  _ she knows nothing at all.

She doesn’t know what the wish was.

But she knows that Leonora survived, and that’s all that matters now,  _ her true love is not going to die,  _ they still have a chance. 

She is not thinking straight.

She is desperate.

Time passes in a blur, the funerals for Nicholas and Cinderella go by, she and Sophie find Leonora’s last gift (why is it so easy to call her Leonora?) (because Lady Lesso was hurting so much and Leonora feels so much lighter).

The room is dark, but it is so obvious what was in the box. 

“How can she-” Sophie begins.

How does she handle this?  _ This,  _ this was Leonora’s last wish, but Leonora isn’t dead, but Leonora isn’t alive either, she’s just… gone.

“I don’t  _ know,”  _ and the last word must have come out too broken, because even Sophie of Woods Beyond looks sadly at her.

“I can’t take it,” she says.

“She wanted you to,” Clarissa murmurs.

“Until she comes back,” Sophie decides firmly. And maybe- Sophie has a stake in this too. Lady Lesso was her mentor, in a sense. Lady Lesso said that she loved Sophie as her own child.

They meet each other’s gazes.

Clarissa nods, once, slowly.

Sophie darts away.

_ Come back, you can come back,  _ Clarissa thinks.

The room still looks like hers. It will always look like hers. 

_ You have to come back. _

* * *

She can make it out.

Only a little bit more.

The light shines ever brighter.

* * *

Clarissa is back to teaching and rebuilding her school but she still cannot  _ forget. _

_ Move on,  _ she tells herself.  _ She’s not here. _

She will survive, she  _ can  _ survive, but all the same it will hurt, and survival is not the same as living out her life. 

Isn’t surviving enough?

_ No,  _ the voice in her head whispers.  _ It’s really not. _

* * *

_ Almost there, almost there- _

She can feel the light in her very soul, and she is going back, she is going  _ home. _

Her mind conjures the tall, imposing spires of the School for Evil, the dark blue and violet and black of the night skies, stargazing from the tallest tower. The friendly warmth of the School for Good, wooden floors and mismatched books and cups of tea, a family found, a true love and best friend and soulmate in every sense of the word.

_ Clarissa. _

_ Don’t forget me. _

* * *

_ iii.  _

Three months have gone by. 

Three long months.

Clarissa is doing decently. Maybe. She can still teach competently, at least. On good days she can find it within herself to laugh, and live, and be happy. 

On bad days she hurts in her very soul, where the part of her that isn’t her is. On bad days she retreats to her rooms and doesn’t come out.

This is a bad day.

Her office is warm and safe and a place to hide. Hide from everyone else. Hide from people who look pityingly at her and whisper behind her back.

She unlocks the door and ventures in, letting it swing shut behind her-

-and freezes.

A very familiar figure is sitting on her bed, thin and lithe, wearing a sharp-shouldered, wing-collared dress. A figure absently coaxing a spark of indigo magic between her fingers, twirling it in ever more intricate patterns.

A figure who looks up and quirks her lips into a small, guarded smile. 

“I suppose I have you to thank, for granting that wish,” she says.

“I suppose you do,” Clarissa replies faintly. 

“Well, Clarissa. It is nice to see you again.”

And then there are no more words, because Clarissa is collapsing on the bed next to her and crying and laughing and the fire in her chest is finally, finally stopping.

Leonora presses a hand to hers, awkwardly.

“I lived,” she says softly. “I lived.”

“You  _ idiot.  _ You absolute and utter  _ idiot,  _ you can’t just die like that-” Clarissa breathes.

She sighs in frustration and grabs Leonora by the shoulders and  _ kisses  _ her, because she doesn’t know what else to do, and for that moment nothing else matters but them.

“I love you,” Leonora whispers against her lips, and it is enough, and Clarissa doesn’t  _ care  _ if all this is not supposed to be happening, because it is so worth it.

_ We are together. _

_ We are alive.  _


	2. take care of yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Clarissa won't take care of herself then Leonora is going to make her.

_set just after “mission diverted”, quests for glory_

The crystal ball isn’t working out well. But what other choice does Clarissa (not just Clarissa, _them,_ both of them) have?

“Idiotic, really,” Leonora sighs. “We should have some other way to communicate with our quest teams other than your crystal ball which is _killing_ you-”

“I’m fine, Leonora,” Clarissa snaps over her shoulder, shooting a, frankly, filthy look at her best friend. “We should, yes. But we don’t.”

Leonora looks at her and raises an eyebrow. Clarissa’s silver hair (she still remembers when they tried dyeing red hair and Clarissa got so attached to it she never bothered to change it back) is flying loose, unkempt and wild. The ever-present lines around her eyes are defined even more than usual, dark eye-circles obvious after the nights they spent planning, her frown tired, everything about her _screams_ tired at this point.

“You really aren’t,” Leonora observes.

Clarissa turns away from her floating Quest Map to properly glare at Leonora. “What else would you have me do, then?”

“Sleep, for one,” Leonora says immediately. “Eat a proper meal, stop using that, we can find some other way to do things. I can handle things without you for a day.”

Yes, she has been planning this. Clarissa echoes her thoughts. She lets out a long, slow breath. “You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you?”

“I _care_ about this, Clarissa.”

There is so much left unsaid. But they’ve always been good at reading between the lines, haven’t they?

(It’s always reading between the lines with them. It gets tiring.)

The Good Dean stares at her counterpart before relaxing with a defeated sigh, practically collapsing into her chair. “Fine.”

“Good,” Leonora mutters.

“What happened to us?” Clarissa asks softly. “Our merry quartet. August dead. Evelyn turned traitor. And then killed. We were so young and now we are leading _children_ the same age we were into _war.”_

“If we don’t lead them, no one will,” Leonora says.

“Still horrifying.”

“What else can we do?” Leonora shrugs. “We’re all tired of this. But we have to push on, or else all of us will die. I’d rather go out in glory than ever bow down to some greater power. It almost happened, after all. It doesn’t even hurt much.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Clarissa reprimands. Her voice drops; Leonora can’t make out her first words. “...lost you.”

What did she say?

Leonora is too proud to ask.

“I’m still alive,” she murmurs.

“That had better not change,” Clarissa retorts, and closes her eyes. Her breathing slows, and she looks peaceful.

Leonora looks at her from across the room, and before she can think better of it, she is crossing the office to kiss Clarissa’s forehead gently. And then she runs. She is so very _good_ at running.

It’s because she runs that she doesn’t see her best friend’s eyes snap back open as the door swings shut. 


End file.
